I joined a book club organized for a group of stay at home moms in our neighborhood. The first book on the reading list is Amy Chua's controversial "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom." This author and book have received a lot of attention recently, so I figured this reading too deserves a post on my blog. Plus, it's a fascinating topic: East vs. West: who does a better job at raising their kids and why? One woman's lived experience is hardly scientifically credible; nevertheless, Chua offers a unique perspective that I think is worth understanding.
When I checked the library website, it estimated 250 days of wait time for Chua's book. Wow! The book club meets in a month; I don't have that kind of time! And I don't want to buy the book because I'm cheap. Thankfully, Barnes & Noble grants their nook-owning customers one hour of free access to any book on the nook once per day every day in the store. What a fantastic idea... and a wonderful way to get more of my money than if I were to simply buy this book and bring it home to read at my leisure. :)
I made it into B&N this past weekend for my first free hour, read about 70 pages, spent sixty dollars on other books, and came home with a few insights (and not one of them was about how very little self-control I have in a bookstore - that one I've known for a while). I'll share my reflections here now, and I'll do this after every hour with this book, as long as I find something blog-worthy every time (which I would expect to be the case with such a controversial book).
Reflections from Hour #1: Amy Chua's Parenting Strategy
Chua had her daughters practicing their musical instruments (piano and violin) for 3 hours per day. Instead of getting a break on lesson days, they practiced extra hours - playing both before and after the lesson. She started them on this routine early, when each of the girls was around 3 years of age. Many of the books I've read so far emphasize the importance of imaginative play and stress the need to avoid exerting performance pressure on kids during these early years. Chua mentions this too, so she's aware of the prescription, yet she's chosen to go against it. Why? For better or for worse, she's decided that creativity and fitness are not important qualities for her kids to possess; but academic performance and musical skills are.
In this regard (as with a lot of other things), I think balance is important. Like Chua, I would want to structure some of my child's time in order to ensure they experience and learn to appreciate the intrinsic rewards that dedication and continued practice bring (while they are also acquiring skills, which will serve to increase their human capital later in life). But, as I've read, imaginative play is associated with higher executive functioning, such as concentration and self-control*, which are skills that aid the learning process as well. Therefore, I would place a bit more importance on play dates than Chua did.
* The research and benefits of imaginative play are discussed by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman in "Nurture Shock" and John Medina in "Brain Rules for Baby".
Chua had her daughters practicing their musical instruments (piano and violin) for 3 hours per day. Instead of getting a break on lesson days, they practiced extra hours - playing both before and after the lesson. She started them on this routine early, when each of the girls was around 3 years of age. Many of the books I've read so far emphasize the importance of imaginative play and stress the need to avoid exerting performance pressure on kids during these early years. Chua mentions this too, so she's aware of the prescription, yet she's chosen to go against it. Why? For better or for worse, she's decided that creativity and fitness are not important qualities for her kids to possess; but academic performance and musical skills are.
In this regard (as with a lot of other things), I think balance is important. Like Chua, I would want to structure some of my child's time in order to ensure they experience and learn to appreciate the intrinsic rewards that dedication and continued practice bring (while they are also acquiring skills, which will serve to increase their human capital later in life). But, as I've read, imaginative play is associated with higher executive functioning, such as concentration and self-control*, which are skills that aid the learning process as well. Therefore, I would place a bit more importance on play dates than Chua did.
* The research and benefits of imaginative play are discussed by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman in "Nurture Shock" and John Medina in "Brain Rules for Baby".
Did this book (or other books) mention the point at which a parent should notice their child's natural abilities, interests, and passions and begin to support/focus on those rather than guiding in all types of activities and types of interactions? Do you personally think there is such a point?
ReplyDeleteDo you feel that people are the product of their environment and sum of experiences as a child and adult?
From what I have read so far, parents should support and focus on the child's interests and passions from day 1. For example, they should let the infant focus on what interests him/her, when it interests him/her, rather than trying to force him/her to be interested in something else at any given time. This is important during infancy because babies are easily over-stimulated and this type of "guiding" threatens their inner peace.
ReplyDeleteI have been focusing on infancy and the first year in my reading so far, but I have some books on recognizing and supporting the child's natural passions and abilities picked out as well. I should read a few by the end of March / early April, at which point I will have more information.
In response to your last question, yes, but not exclusively. I think there is more to a person than environment and experiences accumulated over time. I believe there are innate predispositions and capacities as well, which influence how the environment and experiences are received and responded to. I think a truly remarkable parent recognizes the predispositions and capacities of his/her child (not in the sense that he/she will develop a fixed mindset with regard to the child's abilities but) to create an environment that is comfortable for the child, in which he/she can safely further explore and develop his/her interests and abilities for proper character formation. Just like managerial styles, I think parenting styles are received differently by different kids (subordinates in the former), so I think that a parent striving for optimal child development will need to understand what strategy to employ with which child and when. Understanding the child’s biology and predispositions allows the parent to tailor his or her style to the learning/maturation style of the child. The interaction of biology and environment should be a positive one - I believe that any child can learn the lesson you want to teach it if your lesson is presented in the manner that is most appropriate for the child.